It’s been 16 months since the death of my husband and this year I decided to put myself out into the dating scene. Unfortunately things are not working out well as I am on the cusp of a break up meh maybe I need to call it a hurricane I wasn’t prepared for because calling it a relationship is a stretch at best. While I can’t prove it because no money was taken from me successfully I believe I was dating a sociopath. (Signs you are dating a sociopath)
My dating mistakes are making things pretty evident in why its crucial for me to focus on myself and my child then allowing things to fall organically into place when it’s time.
One thing that has been consistent in being a widow and adding to that a single mom is the attraction I have had to sociopaths, criminals and perverts. Quite frankly that is a problem in dating today for all women but unfortunately for women in my category there are assumptions that we are always thirsty and therefore will fall prey to their schemes.
I will admit my state of melancholy, loneliness and insecurity in this new lifestyle radiates a magnet that attracts the undesirable options in dating whether I warranted it or not. I have had embarrassing laps in judgement to say the least and I am learning lessons while overcoming dating pitfalls along the way. Here are 4 tips I have had to re-learn while venturing off in the dating scene. At some point when getting a husband I practiced these tips so its time to put these practices back in place while I overcome dating hurtles and stay true to loving myself and my son
Listen to your intuition and watch out for red flags
This is what you always hear women should do when dating but it can’t be stressed enough. When you begin seeing someone you have to be honest with yourself about where you see the relationship going and how compatible you feel you are with them at the start. Sometimes we want to ignore the signals because we feel good, we are having a moment where we experience companionship and adult conversation and we just want to hold onto it. It won’t be worth it in the end when everything falls apart because you ignored you first thought about a guy.
Red Flags You Should Never Ignore:
-It feels too good to be true
-You just met and a guy wants to commit quickly
-Your communication consist mainly on instant message
-The guy ask for nude photos within the first or second conversation
-The guy never initiates phone calls or text
-There is a break or inconsistency in communication.
-You are only called “after hours”
-On a date the guy is driving a mini van
-You smell another woman’s scent on a man (..and I am not talking about perfume)
-His actions never match his words
In dating today, men will go as far as committing to you, proclaiming you as his girlfriend and making promises on a future he never intends to live up to in order to get into your panties and pocket. He will tell you all the lies he thinks you want to hear. When he is done he will move on to his next conquest better suited to his needs. I have been there and it’s not fun and a complete waste of time out my life.
If something doesn’t feel right or honest about a guy, chances are it isn’t. Trust those mom and widow senses you have. When you get that “something is not right” feeling in the pit of your stomach that’s when you have to decide to either get to know the person more without involving intimacy or move on if the signs are reading you all the wrong way.